It's a stream-of-consciouness blog post kind of day...
Today has been one of those magical days where I could totally over-idealize what its like to be a stay-at-home mom. I woke up and worked out this morning, took a shower and then slipped back into comfy sweats. Got to drink coffee, make the kids breakfast, and enjoy some computer time this morning. Cleaned the kitchen, did a few loads of laundry, put some stew in the crockpot AND had a fun playdate all before noon. Then had a healthy (and relaxing!) lunch, let the kids play with Playdough at the kitchen table while I paid bills online, and then got everyone down for a nap. My house is semi-clean again, laundry is done and folded now, and I feel 'caught up' with the job of CEO of this household. Like I said, it's been magical.
Everyday is not like this though. When I'm home with my kids everyday, there is usually someone who didn't get enough sleep the night before (usually all of us). There is fighting, and crying, and whining. There are errands to be run, or desperate attempts to get out of the house. There is laundry, cleaning, bills or whatever else, and the kids aren't cooperating while I try to get them done. Days like today are magical only when they are few and far between. I love them more than anything, and it makes me sad to think about giving them up. But I also can't do this everyday, long-term, anymore. Because even if (again, magically) every day were like this, I would still eventually become bored out of my mind. I envy the hell out of mothers who can be totally fulfilled like this. I really, really do. Try as I might, though, I'm just not one of them.
This of course leads up to the question that many people have been asking since my last blog post, and that is whether I've decided what I'm doing this coming year. The answer is, no. I still don't know and everything continues to be up in the air. Which of course is driving me crazy, and stressing me out beyond belief. I don't do well with long, drawn-out decisions. I like to make quick, efficient, and confident decisions. I do my research, weigh the pros and cons, and then move forward. This hemming and hawing, back and forth, waiting-to-see-what-happens BS is for the birds. But, I'm waiting on things that are beyond my control right now, and so that is where it stands. SIGH. I'll keep everyone posted of course the minute I get it all figured out.
In the meantime, I'm determined to make the best of having this time at home with all three again. I'll still be doing private practice one evening a week for awhile, and I still have one class I'm teaching for another two weeks. But by mid-May (if I don't take the perfect job) then I'll have some time to devote to the house and kids for the summer. My big priority right now is helping Baby Girl transition to table foods. I've always made my kids' baby food as much as I could, but I've never been very patient about having to make a separate meal for the baby, three times a day. This is the perfect time to make the transition too, since we're eating a lot of fruits and grilled veggies. I've been cooking her small pastas to work on, and mashing veggie burgers and avocados. I've also been getting some great kid-friendly meal ideas from The Best Homemade Baby Food On The Planet, which I've been pretty impressed with. Very soon I'm hoping to ditch the bottle as well. I'm not one of those sentimental people that wants to allow my children to stay a baby as long as possible, at least when it comes to feeding. Bottles and baby food are just a huge pain in the ass, and I am more than eager to ditch them ASAP. Other projects include the garden, getting BoBo prepared for kindergarten, spring cleaning, and selling baby stuff/clothes. The Punk is officially potty-trained as of this week, and so I get to cross that one off the list (OhMyGod I'm now down to one in diapers! Seriously could not be more elated).
In other news, the marathon training is a roller coaster for me right now. Some days I'll have a really great run, and feel awesome. Other days I'll be sluggish, tired and my joints will be aching. I love running more than anything, but I think I'll be glad to not be on a 'schedule' anymore. Like, if I want to run, I will, and if I don't, then I won't. Not to mention that I'm just struggling to keep weight on right now. I'm eating well, and I feel like I'm eating constantly. But when you're putting in 30 miles a week, then keeping up with those calories is just difficult to do. I mean, sure I could eat junk everyday and keep up very well, I know. But I can't eat junk food everyday. Not because I'm worried about gaining weight or I'm being a food snob, or anything (I love cake and donuts every once in awhile as much as the next person!), but just because I just like how I feel (and how I run) when I eat healthy, and I don't like how I feel (or how I run) when I don't. Plain and simple. Its not an eating disorder (thankyouverymuch), its just what happens when your body and your mind become conditioned to it. But, it does make keeping calories up a little more difficult. So that is that. I consume more peanut butter, pasta, guacamole, and omelettes right now than should be possible. But I am still super psyched about the marathon, and I'm sure that it won't be my last. (And, by the way, no hate mail, please. I realize that 'complaining' about keeping weight on makes people who are having trouble taking weight off want to bitch-slap me right now, but it IS something that I'm struggling with, and I wanted to write about it for possible input. Since it is my blog, and everything).
On a more fun note, my friend Monica commented on her blog recently about getting another tattoo, and I'm totally psyched to do the same after the marathon. My original idea was to do something to commemorate the marathon, as well as include being a mom. And a wife. And, hell, a woman (I happen to think we're pretty amazing), but I came across this design last week, and I'm kind of totally in love with it.
So I'm going to keep playing with it, and will probably talk to Heath at Hell Bomb at some point, but I cannot wait for a new tat. Eeeeeeeee!
Anyway, that's what is going on here, for the most part. I have had a lot of pregnant or new mommies asking my advice lately on gear, products, etc. for babies and so I'm thinking about typing up my 'must-have' list of baby stuff for a blog post soon, and that way everyone can bask in my wisdom (and I won't have to type up something more than once!). Honestly, I of course cannot claim to know everything about raising kids (if you spent one day in this home, you would know this). But after three babies, I do feel like I have something to add to the conversation when it comes to products that are useful, and products that are just a waste of money. And I really like to help new mommies not waste money. So, when that next magical day rolls around when I have time to do said post, then I will. Until then, I think I'm going to bake some bread or read a book or something I ordinarily would never have the time to do. Peace out, lovely mommies!